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Jokes
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*:- If I'd had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents !!
*:- I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go.
*:-Can I have your picture? ......... I save natural disasters.
*:-Of course... If you want something there is always a way to get there. Unfortunately on my way there are road works..
*:-Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito ot her mother. "yes but be aware, pay attention during the applause."
*:-Do you believe that getting married on a Friday brings bad luck ? "Of course, why would Friday be an exception?"!
*:- A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
*:-One chicken to an other: are you tokkin' to me?
*:-Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
*:- Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.!
*:- The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
*:- "Girls are always running through my mind. They don't dare walk."
*:-A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.
*:-First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
*:-When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
*:-God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
*:-This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.
*:-WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
*:-Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
*:-Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.
*:-"I know a lot about cars. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming."
*:-I am a killer..,I kill people for money...... But because you are my friend, So I'll kill you for nothing!!
*:-A female officer arrests a drunk. She warns him, "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be held against you." The drunk replies, "Boobs."
*:-Q: Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
A: Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
*:-Two mothers are having a conversation about their children. "How do you get your Junior up so early on school mornings?" asks one of them. "Oh, that's easy," replies the other. "I just throw the cat on his bed." "Why does that wake him up?" "He sleeps with the dog."
*:-Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
A: When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
*:-A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!" After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?" Little Johnny replied, "No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
*:-We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
*:- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
*:- Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death.
*:- Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
*:- Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
*:-I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
*:- Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own!!!!
*:- The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
*:- I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!
*:- Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
*:- I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
*:- The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
*:- I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
*:- Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.
*:- I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.
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